Thursday, October 10, 2019

“Respecting Different Comfort Levels” (South Bay Polys #255 - March 2017)


After an incredibly varied and hectic month, thinking about my loves and my past, my own slow maturing from a shy un-confident teen into a fairly sociable fellow (who facilitates poly discussion groups!)…I am struck again by how much is involved in beginning a new relationship with someone and nurturing it as it deepens.

We are really all at different comfort levels when it comes to new physical and emotional relationships.  Many of us are afraid to become too vulnerable to a new “someone.”  Some of us are uneasy about new physical contact.  Many of us have been hurt, either physically or emotionally.  It can be difficult to trust someone new.

How complex it is, the way we come to feel comfortable with a new “someone’s” body, touch, psyche!  No matter how extroverted or “sex-positive” we may feel, a new person is still an unfamiliar person we are exploring and getting used to.

In polyamorous relationships, these difficulties are amplified by the number of people involved.  Much patient care is required, even if the relationship-style is fairly detached among the various subgroupings involved.

Well, spring is coming—a wonderful time to fall in love!  I hope the spring will bring you new awakenings of love and deep friendship!

Happy springtime!!!

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