Wednesday, October 16, 2019

“Continuing Questionings” (South Bay Polys #276 - February 2019)


I’ve been continuing to examine the criticisms coming out of my description of the “Sex, Love, and Non-Violence” workshop I took back in the 1980s—the workshop was an attempt to establish honest, respectful communication between people on issues of sexuality.  Some thoughts:

If I as a man am in a position of power vis-à-vis women, perhaps I can never tell a woman that I am attracted to her.  But she can tell me that she is attracted to me.  Yes?  No?

Is it a question knowing and respecting when someone needs physical and emotional boundaries respected?  Realizing when one might be crowding someone?

Am I personally a nearly unique gender?  Or a nearly unique relational expression?  I can’t say I’m demisexual, I don’t think.  Demisexuals develop emotional attachments and then feel sexual attraction; for me, sexual and emotional attraction go hand in hand, generally.  For me, a sexual bond requires an emotional bond.  What do you call that?

Other people seem to have grown up, become sexual with greater or lesser degrees of casualness, and become comfortable with sexuality?  Did I?  Did they, really?

Etc.

So—the struggle to understand goes on.  How do people ever overcome their uneasiness towards one another and actually become close?  Two people.  Many people.  Whatever.  What creates and sustains mutually enriching relationships?

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