“Respect and Consent” (South Bay Polys #273 - October 2018)

What I have been thinking lately, in the wake of the Kavenaugh hearings, is how vulnerable people can be.  Those of us who care about other people—and I do!—must remember this.

I’ve often wondered at how people ever express their attraction for one another, given the anxiety that exists when two or more people try to become closer.

And I wondered how much we as a society are actually “sex positive.”  Are we truly comfortable with our own sexuality—and others’!—in a society where sexuality of any sort can easily become conflicted?

And let us concede that anyone who has had a bad experience around sex—whether merely disappointing or outright exploitative and injurious—can easily become guarded about any future interaction.

We must not assume that other people enjoy what we enjoy.  We must refuse to pressure people who are at a different comfort level, who have different needs or pleasures or tastes.  We speak of consent; but beyond consent, we must genuinely respect and care for those we are attracted to; and must ask the same of them.

Relationships may develop among people and become sexual—but the ultimate value is to treat people with respect and honor them as equal human beings.