Friday, October 11, 2019

: “Consensual, Positive, Loving, Sexual Living” (South Bay Polys #260 - Aug. 2017)


Just a short thought for the month, but on a big topic.

So many of us have grown up in an environment where sex is feared or mistrusted, that many of us find it difficult to truly feel completely comfortable and positive about sex.  Many of us can’t just relax and enjoy it, much less integrate it into our everyday lives in a deep, satisfying way. 

This may seem odd to many of you.  Many people simply “do it,” and otherwise put it out of their minds.  Maybe the monogamous do have it easier.  If they can manage monogamy, they have a single partner to come to terms with, sexually and emotionally.  For the poly-inclined, more people need to feel comfortable with the sexual and living arrangements.  Once the monogamous have found happiness with their one mate, they don’t have to worry (supposedly) about establishing any additional relationship.

But we polys…are frequently evolving new relationships, integrating new lovers into our lives.  And, with each one, we have to offer them a positive, loving relationship, and they have to feel comfortable with it and consent to it—and then we can be sexual.

And we ourselves have to feel comfortable, and positive, and loving…and consent.

But it can be done.  Many of us are doing it.  Many of us are trying.  It’s a good thing, a good goal to strive towards.  Building those relationships we can relax into!

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