Showing posts with label Stereotypes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stereotypes. Show all posts

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Perceptions and Misperceptions


It’s interesting and challenging to be a person who apparently perceives the world differently than others.  I wonder whether it’s neurological, psychological, or something else.  I wonder, am I on “The Spectrum?”  I don’t know.  I just know that I seem to perceive the world differently than most people.  I apparently don’t make the same assumptions that other people make.  I’ve always liked to think that I wasn’t making the same stereotypical judgments that others were making, that I was outside their prejudices.  But how would I know?  I do know that I’ve often chosen non-standard answers to life questions.
 
When I was a around twenty, and pretty much a pacifist, my father asked:  “If someone attacked you, wouldn’t you defend yourself?”

I replied, “It would depend on what I wanted to accomplish.”

When I was in graduate school, a man from India asked me what I would do if I was adrift on the ocean in a boat with a friend, and we only had enough food for one of us.  I said I thought perhaps if we shared and tried hard, we might somehow both end up surviving.  He said, “That’s your Western approach.”  His approach was more like, he would drown himself so that I could survive.

People like to take their own attitudes as obvious—but there’s often a different way of looking at things.

Monday, July 15, 2013

"A Poly Ethic and Goal"



(South Bay Poly July Newsletter)

Society stereotypes polys under the category of the “non-monogamous.”  That stereotype includes a general assumption of dishonesty, uncaring, and exploitation.  It is built on the assumption of cheating, with all that involves:  Deception, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, mistrust, and fear.

Whereas I feel that polyness is a bit like nudism:  Simply the way some people prefer to be—not because they don’t care about people; not because they’re aggressively trying to make a point with people; not because they’re trying to exploit people.  Some people are simply happier maintaining several intimate love-relationships—and want to be honest about it; and actually want to avoid hurting or exploiting people. 

I would like people to understand this.  I would like polys to achieve recognition and respect from society for the fact that they’ve tried to be honest and caring.  I would like it to be recognized that we’ve tried to listen to people and care about them—to be honest and supportive of ourselves and others.  I would like polys to be accepted as caring, honest, people of goodwill who are trying to develop mutually nurturing relationships—not cheat or exploit others.