Polyamory: The Beauty, The Pain, The Commitment, The Challenge

I was still rather depressed when I woke up Saturday morning.  How, I wondered, will I ever market my poly-pagan novel when my friend who wrote the gay novel says there’s no market for that?

But I get up and head for the local park for another friend’s Ceremony of Commitment.  She and her lover are committing to a life together.  Not a simple wedding, since they are each married to someone else.  But the spouses are there and fully participating in the ceremony, conducted by a man who looks the part of a Rabbi (I don’t know whether he actually is or not).  Family members are also present.  I hear friends speaking of their own poly experiences, or of their newness to the poly concept.  It is moving to hear people speak of opening their lives to include their spouses’ lovers.

Then I’m off to a Pagan Beltane ritual, which begins with a May Pole dance.  Then comes the actual ritual, with much talk of flirtation and merriment and rutting, the season of the Lady and the Goat.  And in fact the weather has turned warm and inviting.

Nevertheless, I’m still absorbing the news of the Cleveland women imprisoned for ten years, and other people’s stories of rape and abuse.  I’m still thinking about the Pantheacon workshop on Sex Positivity.  How do we promote sexual health and sanity in a world where sexuality is so often and easily turned to abuse?

And that evening I watch the film Pariah with my girlfriend.  It’s the story of an African-American woman coming to terms with her attraction to other women, and society’s reaction to it.

Well—we must find our way forward, together.

Anthems (6) – Interlude “Down Under” (New Zealand, Australia)

I’d never heard the anthem of New Zealand or Australia, so I went on YouTube to see what they sounded like.
 

I have to admit, I started out fairly non-committal.  But anthems can be sung at all sorts of tempos and in all sorts of styles; I reserve judgment.  Both anthems, at first, seemed okay but not terribly inspiring.  Both now are growing on me.

As I’ve said, national anthems are meant for the people of the nations in question; an outsider will never react the same way as a native.

I was intrigued by some of the comments I noticed on YouTube.  One person called one of the anthems a dirge.  This was understandably met with some indignation from a loyal citizen.

I began with the intention of avoiding the confusing of these two countries.  People here, in the U.S., forever connect them, I think; and they do both share British heritage; yet they are quite different, both in history and geography—and I always stress this to my friends here.  Yet the more I listen to the two anthems, the more I seem to confuse them.  I’m going to have to work on this!  Perhaps—again—because the recordings I’m listening to are sung in a similar, rather “pop” style.  But also, perhaps, because I sense they both have something, again, of the Anglican-style hymn in them.

The sense of the Australian anthem is that Australia is blessed with many riches, let’s do good things with them.  I’ve always felt this was a good approach for a national anthem.

The New Zealand anthem has verses in English, but also in Maori.  The Maori, apparently, is now sung first.  This reflects, in multiple ways, differences between New Zealand and Australia.  At first I found the English lyrics a bit expansive—asking God to defend the country; speaking in the following verses of the desire for peace but expressing the willingness to fight for the land if it is threatened.  By comparison, the Maori lyrics seemed simple and straight-forward:  Bless us, God; may Good flourish.  Defend the Land.

But I only have the translation for the first Maori verse, so I’m at a disadvantage here.

I’ll be listening to both of the anthems more.  They are little-known in the U.S.  Check them out on YouTube.

What intrigues me most, at this point, is how I am mixing the two melodies up, in spite of my determination not to.  Is it me, or the music?

Anthems (5) – Russia (finale), Canada, and Israel

One last thing about the current Russian national anthem that I like very much—and which also bothers me, although it also challenges me.

 

The chorus ends with the phrase, “We are proud of you!”

Part of me says that this is the whole point:  To be proud of your country.  And how wonderful it is to have a country you can be proud of!

Still, another part of me asks whether this isn’t impossible.  Can anyone be proud of their country?  What does it mean, “to be proud,” anyway?  In what sense are you proud of a country that may have committed great crimes in the past, and may still be unjust—or at least imperfect?  Your country may have done great things, may be great, but—I’m just not sure.

That goes for all countries.  Can anyone be proud?  Still—If it is possible, how wonderful it would be:  To have a country you can be proud of, and to be proud of it!

Now, concerning national anthems, many people criticize the anthem of my own country, the United States, and wish we could have an anthem that is more beautiful, more singable, more like…one of those other countries; more like, say, Canada.

And “O Canada” is a lovely anthem—beautiful.  I’ve known the music for a long time; ever since I spent a month in Canada with my fiancée back around 1974 (her family was Canadian).  As far as the words, mostly I remembered “the cold north bold and free.”  Which turns out to be wrong.  It’s “the True North strong and free!”  I remember that “we stand on guard for thee.”

On the whole, I like the music (although I realize now that I think it sounds like an Anglican hymn); but to me the words seem only “adequate” (sorry!).  We love our country and guard her.  That makes sense, after all.  But….well…I…um…

And, curiously, the French version is rather different.  Roughly:  Ready to fight or be at peace, valor and faith will protect the land.

So I have fond memories of “O Canada,” but…I wish I felt more inspired.

As also with “HaTikvah,” the Zionist and Israeli anthem.  I found the music and words back when I was studying Biblical Hebrew in college.   The music may or may not be related to the main theme of Smetana’s “The Moldau” (“Vltava”)—the theme seems to be related to several different songs from several different countries.  Because I first heard this theme when I was nine or so, I’m biased in its favor.  Someone asked why I hadn’t included “HaTikvah” in my catalog of anthems.  Well—again—as with “O Canada”…I like the music, but I’m ambiguous about the words.  They speak of the two-thousand-year longing of Jews to return to the Land of Israel.  I’m not Jewish.  I can understand the longing intellectually—but I don’t feel it in my gut.  Perhaps you have to be Jewish.  Pretty—and haunting—the melody, though—a fine song.

Anthems (4) – Russia Again

I’ve been immersed in the Russian national anthem, which I find interesting and appealing for several reasons.  More than other anthems, it makes me think and reflect.  And I’ve been improving my Russian by trying to learn the lyrics.
 

The Russian anthem retains the music of the previous Soviet anthem.  Therefore the current anthem brings to mind the earlier anthem.  This was a point of controversy, but this links the present and the past—perhaps in a provocative way.  But modern Russia is linked to its Soviet past.

The 1944 Soviet anthem mentions Stalin as well as “Great Lenin.”  It alludes to the victory over the Nazi invaders.  It mentions the “will of the people,” and victories, and the people’s glory. 

Not surprisingly, the 1977 Soviet revision dropped the reference to Stalin.  But it also dropped references to the war.  Still, only now did we see overt references to Communism (unless my sources are wrong).  For example:

“The Party of Lenin, the strength of the people/Leads us to the triumph of Communism!”  And:  “In the victory of the immortal ideas of Communism/We see the future of our country.”

With this backdrop, we come to the current Russian anthem, beginning with references to “our sacred homeland” and “our beloved country.”  It goes on to mention “Age-old union of fraternal peoples/Ancestor-given wisdom of the people!”

Beautiful stuff!  It continues with references to the vast and varied geography of the country:  “From the southern seas to the polar lands/Spread are our forests and fields./You are unique in the world, one of a kind.”

Finally, it becomes more personal and human:  “Wide spaces for dreams and for living
Are opened for us by the coming years.”

So it has dropped the overt political propaganda of the 1977 Soviet anthem and instead combined patriotism, geography, and humanity.  Not bad for an anthem!  Almost ideal!

And yet—the first verse proclaims the Russian heritage will be “a mighty will, a great glory.”  I’m not convinced that this is ideal.  The second verse mentions “this sacred land protected by God.”  This, of course, was a bone of contention for the remaining atheist communists—and raises questions about the role of religion in modern Russia (but then, religion—meaning Orthodox Christianity—had always had a strong role in Russia).  The third verse proclaims:  “Our strength is derived through our loyalty to the Fatherland./Thus it was, thus it is and thus it always will be!”  That last phrasing is taken from religion; but—probably because I am an American—the idea that strength comes from loyalty to the country somehow bothers me.  American tend to distrust governments.  But then again governments are distinct from countries.

What is the purpose of a national anthem, after all?  And who is it written for?  The current Russian anthem is pretty remarkable.

Pantheacon (12) - Sex Positive (1)

Pantheacon, Day Three -- I attend a workshop on Sex Positivity.  Over fifty people exchanged ideas on what guidelines might be useful for sex positive people.  The specific task was to produce our own “Ten Commandments” (okay, five, they finally said) of Sex Positivity.  Some ideas included:


Mindful Reciprocity between partners.

Deliberate Spontaneity (a bit of a Zen koan!).

Communicate your boundaries.

Be true to your own sexuality.

Mind your own business (in regards to others)

Meet your partners at your mutual boundaries

Express your needs.


After this exploration, we considered some ethical dilemmas that might arise relating to sexuality between people.  Many of these involved cheating or differing needs and wants.

This is the outline.  But just the outline.  Worthwhile in and of itself -- but inviting much more thought.

Anthems (3) - Russia

My interest in Russian—and Russian history—and Russian literature—has been reviving since I looked up the words to the Tsarist national anthem a month or so ago.  I’ve started watching clips of the old BBC version of War and Peace from the 1980s.  I’ve been teaching myself Russian, bit by bit, since sometime in the 1970s; about the same time I took a Russian history course in college.

Each episode of the BBC War and Peace begins and ends with “God Save the Tsar,” known to me since childhood from Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” and “Marche Slave.”  But, as I’ve mentioned previously, this tune did not become Russia’s Imperial anthem until twenty years after the Napoleonic Wars.  Apparently there was no official Imperial Anthem in 1812.  We will notice this pattern elsewhere—including the United States.  Countries did not always feel the need for an official anthem.  Russia did, after the Napoleonic Wars; and before the selection of the now-familiar “God Save the Tsar,” another set of lyrics, “The Prayer of the Russians,” beginning with the same phrase, was used; set to what many of us know as the British national anthem “God Save the Queen.”  This is another pattern we shall soon notice elsewhere.

Of course, after the abdication of the Tsar during the Russian Revolution, “God Save the Tsar” was no longer used.  During the time of the Provisional Government, an adaption of the “Marseillaise,” titled “The Workers’ Marseillaise,” was used.  I have seen the lyrics but could not fit them to the standard French tune—apparently it was modified to make it sound more “Russian.”  In any case, when the Bolsheviks took power a short time later, the “Internationale” became the national anthem.

Stalin commissioned a new national anthem during World War II.  I’ve heard several versions, including a fine English version recorded by Paul Robeson.  The different versions reflect the varying emphasis given to Lenin and Stalin over time.  With the fall of the Soviet Union, this version was retired.

But only the lyrics.  The music was brought back for the current Russian National Anthem, with new words.  Whereas “God Save the Tsar” sounded like an Orthodox hymn, and the Soviet anthem sounded ideological, the present anthem combines the beautiful Soviet melody with lyrics describing the beauty and grandeur of Russia.  These lyrics fit yet another pattern:  Anthems base on the physical beauty of a country.  More on all these patterns to come.

Meanwhile, if you have the chance, listen to a recording of the current Russian national anthem.  Some people consider it the world’s most beautiful anthem.