“Attraction” (South Bay Poly April Newsletter)

After thinking a bit more about attraction (which I mentioned last month), it occurred to me that attraction involves a series of events.  First, you feel attraction towards someone—this involves the qualities that personally attract you; then you decide how you will react to it.  Then you have their reaction to you, based on their own personal tastes and experience and background.

As this develops, societal conditions come into play.  People have their own personal feelings about how they should behave.  They are affected by their upbringing, their religion, their personality.

The stage is now set.  Now the people in question must communicate.  How do they actually begin interacting?  Are they interested in each other?  Are they interested in getting to know each other better?  What might they want or expect from each other?

And then, if they are interested in growing closer and becoming friends, how do they do that?

As they proceed, they run into all the issues that come with knowing someone well, and becoming affectionate and intimate with someone.  But this is how it starts.