Natural Abundance?

I wrote most of the following for this month’s South Bay Polys newsletter.

For those not familiar with the term, polyamory is a type of non-monogamous relationship based on openness, consent and honesty.

I had gotten to thinking, in connection with polyamory, and the friends I’ve been making lately (I used to be quite shy):  Suppose a “soul mate” is a “one in a million” thing.  That makes It sound so rare.  But in a world of 7 billion people, you might expect to find about 7,000 potential soul mates.  In the U.S. you might expect around 310.  In California, where I live, there might be 37.  In the greater San Francisco-San Jose-Oakland area, there might be around 7.  Of course, that’s counting everyone.  A heterosexual might have only *half* that number. 

The mere fact that so many might exist doesn’t mean that you would ever meet them all, or develop a relationship with all of them.  You might not meet any of them.  But…  Well, it just made me think a little.

If you haven’t found an ideal, or near-ideal partner…these hypothetical statistics mean that you should not give up looking.  It seems the potential partners should be out there…somewhere.

If you have a partner, or several, already, of course, there's no need to look for more.  But should you be prepared for more?

Suppose you stumble, quite accidentally, upon another “soul-mate.”  Should you rush to take advantage of the opportunity?  Should you let the opportunity pass?  Can you let it pass?  Will soul mates be irresistibly drawn to one another once they meet?

Could you resist?  Should you resist?  Conversely, should you panic and feel depressed if you haven’t found anyone?
I thought about this awhile and decided that maybe you shouldn’t worry much about it either way.  Don’t force anything, but accept what comes to you.