The more I think about how people relate intimately, the more puzzled I am by the whole business. The whole question, to begin with, of how people become attracted to one another, seems less and less comprehensible to me. We may be attracted to people for no explainable reason; they may or may not be interested in return—again, for no discernible reason. Attraction may be physical, attraction may be subtle—a matter of personality somehow; but often baffling to outsiders. “How on earth did those two get together?” we ask. “They seem to have nothing in common. They seem so different.” Yet they’ve bonded somehow.
Once people realize they’re attracted, how does it happen that they grow closer and more comfortable together? How is it that they come to trust each other—emotionally, sexually? How do they become inseparable? I don’t know; it’s not clear. Some mysterious alchemy seems at work.
And of course, relationships come apart as well—and often just as mysteriously. How can something split you apart, if you’ve been dealing with it already—apparently successfully—for years?
