"A Poly Ethic and Goal"

(South Bay Poly July Newsletter)

Society stereotypes polys under the category of the “non-monogamous.”  That stereotype includes a general assumption of dishonesty, uncaring, and exploitation.  It is built on the assumption of cheating, with all that involves:  Deception, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, mistrust, and fear.

Whereas I feel that polyness is a bit like nudism:  Simply the way some people prefer to be—not because they don’t care about people; not because they’re aggressively trying to make a point with people; not because they’re trying to exploit people.  Some people are simply happier maintaining several intimate love-relationships—and want to be honest about it; and actually want to avoid hurting or exploiting people. 

I would like people to understand this.  I would like polys to achieve recognition and respect from society for the fact that they’ve tried to be honest and caring.  I would like it to be recognized that we’ve tried to listen to people and care about them—to be honest and supportive of ourselves and others.  I would like polys to be accepted as caring, honest, people of goodwill who are trying to develop mutually nurturing relationships—not cheat or exploit others.