“Poly Cultures”

I’m currently reading Andrew Holleran’s novel Grief, published in 2006.  It’s a novel about a gay man who spends a semester teaching in Washington, DC after caring for his dying mother.  It’s about his own grief, the grief of Mary Todd Lincoln after the assassination of her husband, the grief of Henry Adams after his wife committed suicide…and the grief of an entire generation of gay people decimated by HIV/AIDS.

But it’s about life at least as much as death.  It’s about the different ways that people live and cope.  It’s about the excitement of being young, and the challenge of becoming old.  It’s about how people of different ages and backgrounds interact.

Digging into gay male literature, I become more aware of the variety of gay male culture.  Men who knew they were gay or realized they were gay didn’t all approach their gayness in the same way.  Different men, different social backgrounds, approached the challenges and hardships differently.

And so, I think now, with polys.  There are many different ways that people can be poly, to begin with.  Then there are different strategies for dealing with family, friends, and mainstream society.  Someday we’ll look back and compare notes.  Meanwhile, I wish everyone good relationships and not too much loneliness and not too much trouble or drama.  Polyness can be a challenge—but a very rewarding one too!