Natural Abundance?

I wrote most of the following for this month’s South Bay Polys newsletter.

For those not familiar with the term, polyamory is a type of non-monogamous relationship based on openness, consent and honesty.

I had gotten to thinking, in connection with polyamory, and the friends I’ve been making lately (I used to be quite shy):  Suppose a “soul mate” is a “one in a million” thing.  That makes It sound so rare.  But in a world of 7 billion people, you might expect to find about 7,000 potential soul mates.  In the U.S. you might expect around 310.  In California, where I live, there might be 37.  In the greater San Francisco-San Jose-Oakland area, there might be around 7.  Of course, that’s counting everyone.  A heterosexual might have only *half* that number. 

The mere fact that so many might exist doesn’t mean that you would ever meet them all, or develop a relationship with all of them.  You might not meet any of them.  But…  Well, it just made me think a little.

If you haven’t found an ideal, or near-ideal partner…these hypothetical statistics mean that you should not give up looking.  It seems the potential partners should be out there…somewhere.

If you have a partner, or several, already, of course, there's no need to look for more.  But should you be prepared for more?

Suppose you stumble, quite accidentally, upon another “soul-mate.”  Should you rush to take advantage of the opportunity?  Should you let the opportunity pass?  Can you let it pass?  Will soul mates be irresistibly drawn to one another once they meet?

Could you resist?  Should you resist?  Conversely, should you panic and feel depressed if you haven’t found anyone?
I thought about this awhile and decided that maybe you shouldn’t worry much about it either way.  Don’t force anything, but accept what comes to you.

Grail and Wand

Much thought given to what to call this blog.

At first I was thinking along the lines of "The Pagan Monk."  But I didn't actually mean "monk," although I have often thought of myself as a Pagan "monk."  But I didn't mean that I withdraw from the world.  I meant more "solitary" or following my own intuitive path.  I considered "Pagan Voyager."  But that is very close to a phrase used by various other artists or writers.  And I wanted to imply something that joined apparent opposites.

Then various Tantric-suggestive ideas came to mind, encompassing a union of the sexual/sensual and the spiritual.  "Grail" I was very comfortable with; but what would be the appropriate word for the male-oriented half of this union?  "Rod?"  "Staff?"  Finally I remembered "Wand;" perhaps that could be pried a bit away from its stage-magic and Harry Potter associations.  I had avoided referring to the "Spear" as described in Wagner's Parsifal; or the "Blade" as in the book The Chalice and the Blade.  I didn't want to suggest a weapon.  I thought that "Rod" or "Staff" sound too suggestive.  But "Wand" already has magical connotations, just as "Grail" does.  So "Wand" it is:  "Grail and Wand."